Words should be chosen for their “low fear quotient.” Using words like “safe and unsafe touching” instead of rape or sexual abuse is more comfortable, and it encompasses a range of abusive actions versus just one.

Parents need to become comfortable with anatomically correct language. If children sense their parents are uncomfortable with words like penis, vagina, buttocks, breast and anus, then children won’t use these words either. Many abused children report that they didn’t tell their parents because they didn’t have words for what happened.